From: mirele@super.zippo.com (Deana M. Holmes (NED for OTs Series))
Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology
Subject: 101 Uses *AND MORE* for Dead LRon's Skull
Date: Wed, 22 Oct 1997 02:49:25 GMT
Organization: Knights of Xenu, Kingdom of Deseret Chapter
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(Yes, this post is obnoxious...but then again, if you read the Subject,
you'd KNOW that!)

Did you know that you can do more with the skull of L. Ron Hubbard than
just fuck it?  Here's a list of 101 (and MORE) Uses for Dead LRon's
Skull.  I'd like to thank everyone on IRC #scientology for their
suggestions.

Here's the beginnings of a list of 101 Uses for Dead LRon's Skull.  I'd
like to thank all the people on IRC #scientology for their suggestions.

If you have any additions to the list, please follow up to this post.

101. Sex Toy
100. Prop for Shakespearean Soliloquy ("Alas, poor Ronnie, I knew him
     well."
 99. Door prop
 98. Halloween decoration
 97. Window prop
 96. Booster chair for David Miscavige
 95. Fish tank decor
 94. Car ball-joint replacement.
 93. Hydraulic pizza oven
 92. Hamster house
 91. Really ugly lampshade
 90. Really good scarecrow
 89. A date for Helena K. Kobrin
 88. Planter for tomato plants
 87. Lawn sprinkler head
 86. Chamber pot
 85. Skeet shooting target
 84. Door knocker at Celebrity Centre
 83. Bazooka practice 
 82. Centerpiece of Swedish Parliament dining room table
 81. Cup for David Miscavige
 80. Philistine slayer (i.e., the biblical David use the jaw of an ass to
     make mincemeat of the Philistines)
 79. Dog dish: Turn it upside down, fill it with water, write "DUKE" on
     the outside.
 78. David Miscavige's Vaseline [TM] storage
 77. Beer bottle opener
 76. Butt plug for Miscavige
 75. Ugly napkin ring
 74. Prozac holder
 73. Put a stick on it, use it for a 3-wood
 72. Brain holder for the entire mental capacity of Co$
 71. Make up model for Helena K. Kobrin
 70. Model for Miscavige's portrait after he gets out of jail
 69. Lisa Marie Presley's used sanitary napkin holder
 68. Turkey caller
 67. Candle holder
 66. Play-Doh mold for Grady Ward's children
 65. Colostomy bag for either David Miscavige and/or Helena K. Kobrin
 64. Demonstration kit for results of medical treatment at Flag
 63. Hair-grease holder for Clean Gene Ingram.
 62. Model for the future of Scientology
 61. E-meter cans holder
 60. Sea Org motivational prop
 59. Practice debate partner for Heber Jentzsch
 58. Body thetan; just clamp the jaws onto a Scientologist, and let it go
 57. Stick shift knob
 56. Soap dish
 55. Cut in half, it would make a lovely sports bra for Helena K. Kobrin
 54. Ground up for pig feed
 53. Pez Dispenser
 52. E-meter control knob
 51. Cockroach breeding grounds 
 50. Meat tenderizing hammer
 49. Tinfoil hat mold (in memoriam Daniel Davidson, RIP)
 48. Nutcracker
 47. DC-8 Barf Bag
 46. Stunt double for John Travolta
 45. Protein shake holder for people doing the Introspection Rundown
 44. French kissing practice model for Helena K. Kobrin
 43. Depth charge ammo for Mexican waters
 42. Cat toy for Xena and Hunter
 41. Bowling ball
 40. Dual vibrator holder for Helena K. Kobrin
 39. Refrigerator magnet
 38. Lead weight for fishing line
 37. Trailer hitch ball
 36. Mental equal for David Miscavige
 35. Place to hide all the NOTS you've downloaded from the net, Sweden,
     etc.
 34. Hood ornament for the Crosstown Bus to Total Freedom
 33. Bombing target
 32. Spittoon
 31. Ashtray
 30. Diaper hamper
 29. Double dong dildo made out of jawbone for Helena K. Kobrin and "Vera
     Wallace"
 28. Ground up cockroach poison
 27. Diaphragm for "Vera Wallace"
 26. Grady's Christmas tree ornament
 25. Doggie chew toy
 24. Cat litter box
 23. Catch pan for moonshine still
 22. Bocci ball
 21. Whiffle ball
 20. Laundry ball (fill with blue water first)
 19. Ship's ballast
 18. Anchor
 17. Ground up for fertilizer
 16. Sharpening stone
 15. Bomb sight for Xenu
 14. Toilet paper holder
 13. Holding tank for medicinal maggots grown for medical purposes
 12. David Miscavige's Teddy Bear
 11. Nozzle for Lisa Marie Presley's bidet
 10. It's the REAL Rick Sherwood!
  9. Someone for wgert to talk to
  8. Put it on the head of a pike
  7. Kirstie Alley's co-host at the Narconon celebration
  6. Loose change jar
  5. Ornament on a satanic altar
  4. Study aid for the Comm Course
  3. Lightning rod
  2. Ball for a new game called "Xenu's Revenge"
  1. "Tickle Me Ron" doll
  0. Shovel to dig up Xenu
 -1. Free giveaway at Taco Bell
 -2. Grill scraper at McDonalds
 -3. Meatball mold
 -4. Spaghetti strainer
 -5. Worm bait
 -6. Holder for medical waste
 -7. Bong
 -8. Cannon fodder
 -9. Football helmet
-10. Salt shaker
-11. Star of new prime time TV show
-12. Shell for one of H. Keith Henson's surprises
-13. Play toy for Grady
-14. Ammo for Operation Foot Bullet

Deana


Deana M. Holmes
alt.religion.scientology archivist since February 1995
NEW! 4/97 *and* 4/96 Poster Child for Clueless $cientology Litigiousness
mirele@super.zippo.com