From: rayr@delete.these.fields.ezlink.com Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology Subject: FLASH! Scientology Attacks Santa! Date: 22 Dec 1997 08:58:48 -0800 Organization: Santa Had Days Like This, Inc. Lines: 32 Message-ID: <67m688$iq7@drn.zippo.com> NNTP-Posting-Host: p-731.newsdawg.com In a statement released to media, the church of scientology has accused Santa Claus of bigotry and inciting hatred against the church of scientology. Scientology spokesperson Michael J. Rinder said in an interview earlier today, "It's considered extremely rude to restimulate someones wholetrack. Santa, and all he represents, is designed to do just that! We scientologists consider this an act of hate and bigotry." Another Church spokesperson stated that church members intended to picket the local Walmart chain in protest of Santa's actions, saying, "It doesn't matter who we protest, as long as we protest someone. Someone is surely guilty of helping Santa spread his hatred and bigotry, and Walmart seems just as likely as anyone else. We have reason to believe Bob Minton shops there." The Church's latest actions come in response to the increasing amounts of Santa imagery to be seen around the world. Church officials claim that it's an organized conspiracy to increase hateful Santa imagery and to "restimulate peoples whole track" and further claim that it's being funded by the German government and Bob Minton. Critics, however, contend that the increasing amounts of Santa imagery are simply a result of Christmas. Scientology officials respond to critics by claiming that they're obviously hateful chaos mongers. Church attorneys in Clearwater Florida have filed for a temporary restraining order against Santa, saying that they have plenty of reason to fear for their lives. Sylvia Stanard, a spokesperson for Scientology said, "This man has a history of breaking into peoples homes in the middle of the night. He wears this costume all the time, and we want to know what he's hiding. We're investigating it right now as a matter of fact." Santa could not be reached for comment.